For couples, “holidays are a scary time” because they often call for revealing a new side of yourself to your partner, says Sabrina Romanoff, New York-based psychologist and a relationship expert for dating app Hily.
Some people have decades-long, big family traditions they want to uphold. Others prefer to keep it low key. Whatever the activities are, and whatever the meaning behind them, opening up about what matters to you can feel very vulnerable.
Ultimately, the goal is to blend “each other’s cultures and worlds,” says Romanoff. Here’s how successful couples tackle this festive time of year.
They’re ‘direct and honest’ about what they want
First, each partner has to know what they want and be open about it.
Do they want their partner to join them for their family Christmas? Do they want to take some time off and have a quiet Hanukkah? “You are better off being direct and honest with your partner so you both can really get what you both need,” says Romanoff.
Ultimately, there will likely have to be some flexibility, on both sides.
“I think the healthiest couples are those who can get creative and compromise,” she says. “There’s only one Christmas Eve, there’s only one Christmas Day.”
Maybe this year, the couple spends time with one side’s family and next year they spend time with the other.
They create new traditions together
Second, successful couples create new traditions together.
“That could mean going to see the tree together a Rockefeller Center,” says Romanoff, “or getting an ornament together.” It could mean cooking a holiday meal or doing a hot chocolate crawl.
Building something new together is a bonding experience. “I think that’s what brings security” in the relationship, she says.
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