There are certain questions it’s worth asking your partner before you get married.
What is your credit score, have you ever filed for bankruptcy — anything to do with finances, for example, is critical. “Finances is still one of the top three reasons why people get divorced,” says Padideh Jafari, divorce and family law attorney.
You could also ask, is religion important to you? You want to make sure your partner respects that part of your life, she says.
Once you’ve gotten married, there are also ways to keep the marriage strong and avoid some of the most common causes of divorce. Here’s what Jafari and Parima Pandkhou, divorce attorney at Wasser, Cooperman & Mandles, recommend.
1. Communication
First, communication is key.
That’s true about the little things, like your plans for the day or something funny that happened at work. People in the happiest relationships talk about what they’re currently into and their random thoughts, psychologist Mark Travers previously told CNBC Make It.
But they also talk about the heavier parts of their relationship, like an upsetting habit their partner has. “You have to talk about stuff,” says Pandkhou. “If you sweep it under the rug, it just gets bigger and bigger.”
When you do, be patient and clear about the issue, and make sure to give your spouse the courtesy of hearing them, too. “Communicate and listen before you respond,” says Jafari. “Really try to understand what your spouse is saying.”
2. Weekly date night
Have a regular date night.
“I believe in date nights once a week,” says Jafari. “I know some couples can’t afford that, but a date night doesn’t mean that you have to go to an expensive dinner and movies or theater. It can be just having a picnic.”
Help us help you: Take our survey on work, money and life goals
Dates can give you an opportunity for dedicated one-on-one time and be a fun way to celebrate your relationship on a regular basis.
“Our world gets really, really busy,” says Jafari, “and especially when you have children, it gets even busier. So I think it’s important, even if it’s two hours a week, to just check in with each other” on a date night.
3. Regular budget talks
Finally, as in the conversations before your marriage, Jafari recommends talking about your finances regularly.
That means “looking at your budget and saying, do we need to save more? Is it okay if we spend a little bit of money? Do we want to take the Disney trip with the kids?” she says.
Touch on whatever financial woes are on your mind so you can get aligned with your spouse. If there’s a spending habit your partner has that stresses you out, for example, that can grow into resentment down the line if you don’t address it.
“If you talk to people that have been married a long time and have successful marriages,” says Jafari, “they’ll tell you she’s my best friend, he’s the person I want to go to, or she’s the person I want to tell the best news to and the worst news to.”
All of these habits can build that strong foundation of friendship.
Want to stand out, grow your network, and get more job opportunities? Sign up for Smarter by CNBC Make It’s new online course, How to Build a Standout Personal Brand: Online, In Person, and At Work. Learn from three expert instructors how to showcase your skills, build a stellar reputation, and create a digital presence that AI can’t replicate. Sign up today with coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off the regular course price of $67 (plus tax). Offer valid July 22, 2025, through September 2, 2025.
Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It’s newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life, and request to join our exclusive community on LinkedIn to connect with experts and peers.
