A recent survey by matchmaking company Tawkify asked over 1,000 U.S. adults about how job loss affects their dating lives — from first dates to long-term relationships. Survey respondents shared multiple ways that unemployment can have a negative impact including cancelling dates for financial reasons and hesitating to even ask someone out at all.
And thirty-eight percent of those surveyed said the biggest effect unemployment has on their dating lives is that it causes them to be more emotionally closed off.
Justin Lehmiller, senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute for sex and relationship research and host of the “Sex and Psychology Podcast,” is not surprised that this many adults report shutting down emotionally during unemployment — in fact, he would expect the number to be even higher.
“When you think about the first question somebody asks you when they meet you,” says Lehmiller, “it’s often, ‘what do you do for a living?'”
In the U.S., “work is the single most important way of proving your worth” as a person, Steven Vallas, professor emeritus of sociology at Northeastern University, previously told CNBC. Beyond providing a livelihood, he noted, work is also the primary way individuals gain respect among their peers.
This emphasis on the meaning of work “can really compound those feelings of shame and the anxiety about being unemployed,” Lehmiller says. That makes it harder to be vulnerable and open to dating, he adds.
‘It’s perfectly fine’ to take a break from dating when you’re unemployed
Given this influx of feelings during unemployment, “it’s perfectly fine” if you decide to take a break from dating for a while and focus on yourself and your mental health, says Lehmiller.
For example, take some time away from applying to jobs and “give in to whatever vice you can that is your healing vice,” Dan Space, who’s worked in HR at companies like Electronic Arts and Spotify, previously told CNBC Make It. Watch movies, order pizza—whatever you need.
If you do decide to put a pause on romance, just remember not to shut yourself off from people altogether.
In a challenging moment like unemployment, “being able to lean on your family and friends can be very, very important,” he says.
Want to get ahead at work with AI? Sign up for CNBC’s new online course, Beyond the Basics: How to Use AI to Supercharge Your Work. Learn advanced AI skills like building custom GPTs and using AI agents to boost your productivity today. Use coupon code EARLYBIRD for 25% off. Offer valid from Jan. 5 to Jan. 19, 2026. Terms apply.
