The people we choose to spend time with, both professionally and personally, have a massive impact on our mental health, productivity, and even career trajectory.
During my 12 years of working as a special agent with the U.S. Secret Service, I saw firsthand how the wrong people can derail even the best of intentions. That’s why I’ve learned to stay far away from three toxic personality types.
Here’s what to look out for, and what to do if you encounter them:
1. The Drama Magnet
Drama Magnets are always caught in the middle of a crisis: financial troubles, relationship blow-ups, work drama, even legal issues. Chaos follows them like a shadow.
The problem is, they’re usually the ones creating the drama. They pull others into their issues because they crave attention, validation, and emotional stimulation. Drama is part of their identity.
Watch for the signs:
- They are constantly complaining.
- The have crisis-seeking behavior.
- They have emotional overreactions to little things.
- They need your time and energy at all hours.
When you’re around this energy, it’s easy to get swept up. You start reacting instead of leading. Your time, mental clarity, and emotional bandwidth get drained fast.
What to do: Set firm boundaries. Don’t become their emotional caretaker. And if needed, distance yourself entirely.
2. The Perpetual Fighter
This person always needs a target: a manager who overlooked them, a teammate who disagreed, or a system that they think is rigged against them.
They feel morally superior to others, quick to justify their anger, and driven by a need to “win” every exchange.
Watch for the signs:
- They mask insecurity with arrogance or passive-aggression.
- You find yourself walking on eggshells, choosing words carefully just to avoid confrontation.
- Every conversations with them feels like a battle.
- They are highly reactive, and even neutral feedback can set them off.
I’ve seen how dangerous this can be in high-stakes environments like the Secret Service. Collaboration breaks down. People stop speaking up. Progress stalls.
What to do: Don’t match their energy. Stay calm, be clear, and avoid emotional escalation. Focus on outcomes, not egos. Why waste your time and energy fighting battles that don’t move you forward?
3. The Blame Shifter
A Blame Shifter never takes responsibility. In their view, failure is never a result of their own actions.
If they flunk a course, it’s because the teacher was terrible (not because they didn’t prepare). If they’re passed over for a raise, it’s because their boss is biased (not because of subpar performance). If their business is struggling, the economy is to blame (not their poor business model).
Watch for the signs:
- It’s always someone else who did something wrong, not them.
- They rarely stop to ask what they could have done differently.
- They are terrible communicators, partly because they can’t look at things from an objective standpoint.
In my line of work, accountability wasn’t optional — it was the standard. Mistakes were inevitable, but what mattered was how we responded. Strong professionals own their actions and learn from them.
What to do: Don’t partner with or heavily rely on people who won’t take responsibility. You’ll always end up holding the bag.
My advice is simple: Be strategic about which battles are worth engaging in. Surround yourself with people who take ownership of their lives. The company you keep shapes who you become, and that choice is one of your most powerful tools.
Evy Poumpouras is NBC’s Law Enforcement Contributor, a Former Special Agent and Polygraph Examiner with the U.S. Secret Service, and author of the bestseller Becoming Bulletproof. She is an Adjunct Professor at the City University of New York for Psychology and Criminal Justice with an MA in Forensic Psychology and an MS in Investigative Journalism from Columbia University. Evy is also the host of The AgentX Show. Her online appearances have drawn over 50 million views. Follow her on Instagram @evypoumpouras.
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