When I was Chief Talent Officer at Netflix, I gave our receptionist one unusual job: “Tell me who’s a jerk to you.”
It might sound harsh, but it became one of the most powerful tools in our hiring process — and in my own growth as a leader.
Early in my career, I’ll admit, I didn’t always catch the subtle red flags in people. If someone was smart, articulate, and confident in an interview, I’d be impressed. I wanted to believe that great talent would automatically mean great teammate.
But over time, I saw how often the “brilliant but difficult” people created the biggest problems once they joined. That’s when I started looking for new ways to see what was underneath the polish.
The ‘reception test’
In the interview room, everyone’s prepared. They’ve practiced answers, rehearsed their stories, and know what to say. But in the lobby, not everyone behaves well. Sometimes, the mask slips.
Our receptionists saw everything: who made eye contact, who said hello, who acted impatient, who was kind. After each interview, I’d ask a simple question: “How’d they treat you?” The answer almost always matched the person’s true character.
I still remember one candidate who snapped when their visitor badge took too long to print. Another sighed loudly about the “inconvenience” of parking. Both were smart. Both would have been disastrous hires.
And then there were the quiet ones — the candidates who took a moment to ask about the receptionist’s day, who said thank you on the way out. Those people tended to show up with empathy and self-awareness later, too.
The No. 1 thing I looked for in candidates
At first, I thought this “reception test” was just about catching rude people. But over time, I realized it was really about something deeper: self-awareness.
The people who failed that test weren’t always mean — they were often unaware. They didn’t realize how their words or energy affected others. They didn’t see the power dynamic they created just by being dismissive. That lack of self-awareness doesn’t stay at the front desk. It follows people into meetings and erodes trust and team culture.
At Netflix, we used to say, “No brilliant jerks.” But I’d go further now: Even “brilliant unaware” people can do damage. Because you can’t fix what you refuse to see.
How someone treats people they don’t think “count” reveals how they’ll treat everyone once the spotlight is off. People who are rude or unaware with receptionists can poison your culture, create unnecessary hierarchies, and drive your best people to leave.
But self-aware people notice their impact. They adjust. They’re grounded enough to treat everyone — from the CEO to the front desk — with the same respect.
The best leaders I’ve known, the ones who build trust and inspire loyalty, understand their strengths and blind spots. They can sense when they’re coming off too strong or when someone else feels unseen. And when they make a mistake, they own it.
That kind of self-awareness creates safety and honesty inside teams. It’s contagious. And it starts with the smallest acts of respect. I looked for it in every candidate.
My best advice for job seekers
Everyone you meet during the hiring process is part of the interview, even the people you don’t think are.
A few things I’ve learned matter more than you realize:
- Be fully present. Don’t scroll through your phone while you wait. Take in the space, smile, breathe.
- Acknowledge everyone. A simple hello or thank you can speak louder than a stellar resume.
- Stay kind when things go wrong. How you handle stress or inconvenience is often the real test.
People remember how you make them feel. Those little interactions reveal who you are when no one’s grading you — and that’s what employers want to know when they’re hiring.
So whether you’re walking into a job interview, leading a meeting, or just ordering coffee, remember this: Who you are in the small moments says everything about who you’ll be in the big ones.
Jessica Neal is the former Chief Talent Officer at Netflix, where she helped shape one of the most talked-about company cultures in the world. Today, she’s an operating partner and investor at TCV, partnering with founders and executive teams to build scalable, high-performing organizations. She is also the co-host of TruthWorks, a podcast that explores leadership, authenticity, and the real work of building teams that thrive.
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