If you do these 6 things, you have stronger ‘people skills’ than most: Leadership expert

I’ve spent over 30 years in corporate leadership position, including roles at The Coca-Cola Company, Hershey, and Ralston Purina. I’ve learned that what you say matters, but how you say it matters more.

In one of the most high-stakes workshops of my career, I found myself in Moscow navigating tense cultural differences, political disagreements, and unexpected personal jabs — all while trying to build a partnership between two global teams.

That experience reminded me that great leadership and success comes down to diplomacy, especially when the conversation gets quiet, emotions run high, or things take an uncomfortable turn. That’s where good people skills come in.

Here are the six practical habits I rely on for building strong people skills, whether I’m navigating conflict, coaching teams, or earning trust across cultures.

A wise man once told me, “Just because you think something doesn’t mean you need to say it.” I’ve learned to listen first, then take what I heard, let it sink in, and decide how to respond. Sometimes, the best response is no response. Like keeping the toothpaste in the tube, some thoughts are better left unsaid.

Good responses don’t always come instantly. It’s like playing chess in your head; you have to think two or three moves ahead. Consider the consequences of what you’re going to say and where you want to end up. The Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu said, “Respond intelligently, even to unintelligent treatment.” By anticipating outcomes, you can prepare a response.

Surprises will occur, and you’ll need to stay calm. Identify your hot buttons: what triggers your anger, prickliness or impatience. Instead of responding with hostility, adopt a considerate and graceful approach. Lead by being a calming influence amid conflict or crisis, whether by taking deep breaths, pausing before speaking, or practicing active listening.

Psychologists tell us that 93% of communication is about body language and tone of voice, with only 7% being words. People can read you like a book. They will interpret your eyes, tone, and body language. A smile or a softened tone can make a difference.

Everyone has an opinion, and as a leader, it’s crucial to understand what people think and why. Ask probing questions and listen intently without taking offense. Seek common ground — you never know what you might learn. By exploring my peers’ thoughts on past leaders, I discovered different perspectives on the story that I hadn’t considered.

In many cultures, including Russia, building relationships comes before accomplishing tasks. Establish trust and win hearts before asking for their hand.

Building rapport and trust through informal interactions is essential for long-term success. My experience in Russia taught me that trust forms the foundation for effective collaboration. And trust can be earned in unexpected or uncomfortable ways.

Preston Poore has spent 30 years leading in Fortune 500 companies like The Coca-Cola Company, The Hershey Company, and Ralston Purina. He founded Preston Poore & Associates to help leaders grow faster and smarter. He is a Certified Maxwell Leadership Team Speaker, host of the P³ Podcast, and author of “How Is Greater Than What: Master the Growth and Leadership Skill Everyone Else Ignores.”

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