I constantly find myself in situations where I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. I sign up for something — a play audition, a local reading, or line dancing — thinking it sounds fun.
When the day comes, I find myself standing outside a door with knots in my stomach. Sometimes I push through that fear and get to have a wonderful experience. Sometimes I don’t.
I’m obsessed with these moments because I believe the way we respond to them shapes the lives we live. When I look back at the choices that had the biggest impact on my life, there was almost always a moment like this, where I was terrified but decided to move forward anyway.
In 2025, I made a podcast where I spoke with guests about something they always wished they could do, but were scared to pursue. We talked about why they haven’t done it yet, and agreed on a goal for them to work toward.
After talking with so many people about the nexus where ambition meets insecurity, I’ve learned some valuable lessons about resilience and success.
1. Being brave doesn’t mean you have no fear
For a long time, I thought some people were just fearless. It turns out, everyone I’ve talked to has been afraid at some point.
One guest, Mattie Lubchansky, had always wanted to try yoga, but nearly skipped the class she signed up for. Yoga studios can be heavily feminized spaces, and as a trans woman, she worried about safety, belonging, and whether she’d be judged — or even asked to leave. She also feared she wouldn’t be able to keep up physically.
Before the class, she practiced at home using YouTube videos and was surprised by the emotional release. Focusing on the movements rather than the potential social dynamics helped her care less about what others might think.
I was so grateful whenever guests admitted they almost bailed. Hearing their stories helped me push through my own anxiety, especially with my recent move to a new city. They are constant reminders that being brave means coexisting with fear, and moving forward anyway.
2. Small changes have a bigger impact than you think
When I tell people about the show, they assume that my guests are climbing Mount Everest or hiking the Appalachian Trail. The goals are so much smaller. Mattie went to that public yoga class. In another episode, a guest went to a queer speed dating event.
But I noticed that after doing one scary thing, my guests often felt more comfortable trying other scary things. It made me realize that the most important thing to practice isn’t necessarily the skill itself, but getting comfortable with trying new things.
3. Failure is the whole point
For me, putting a new project like this podcast out into the world is incredibly vulnerable. Initially, I had a set structure in mind for each episode, with little room for flexibility.
The last episode of the season featured Ronald Young Jr., who had planned to learn a song for piano and then perform it for his friends. But days before recording, he confessed that he didn’t do his challenge. I panicked.
My first reaction was that no one should have let me make this podcast. But even though his performance never happened, we ended up having a really gratifying conversation about failure that I’ve been thinking about in the weeks since.
Talking with Ronald was healing because it reminded me that these moments that feel like failure are often opportunities to have deeper conversations with people about what you want, what you need, and what scares you.
Ultimately, I was excited to release the episode because I knew that other people would recognize themselves in it.
4. Sometimes the biggest change is the story you tell about yourself
Almost every person I spoke to this season had a story about themselves that kept them from doing what they wanted to do, that they “weren’t athletic” or were “socially awkward,” and that people “like them” didn’t do the things they wanted to do.
They were also afraid that because they weren’t the right kind of person to do something, that they’d be judged for trying. But truly, most people are not paying that much attention to you. The most important person you need to persuade is yourself.
Alex Sujong Laughlin is a writer and producer based in Lancaster, PA. She is a co-owner at Defector Media, where she produces and hosts podcasts like Try Hard, Only If You Get Caught, and Normal Gossip. Find her on Instagram @alexlaughs.
Want to give your kids the ultimate advantage? Sign up for CNBC’s new online course, How to Raise Financially Smart Kids. Learn how to build healthy financial habits today to set your children up for greater success in the future.
