Habits shape how we work, how we manage stress, and how we relate to others. They determine whether we move closer to our goals, or repeat the same mistakes.
The same is true in our romantic relationships. Our satisfaction, stability and sense of connection are directly related to the behaviors we default to every day.
As a psychologist who studies couples — and as a husband — I’ve seen how some of the most powerful relationship rituals also happen to be the simplest. Here are five habits that reliably show up in the happiest, most resilient relationships.
1. Actively celebrating each other’s good news
Humans are biologically wired to focus on the negative. This bias helped our ancestors survive by scanning for threats. But in modern relationships, it often leads to pessimism, criticism or chronic dissatisfaction.
Over time, a glass-half-empty mindset trains partners to look for problems rather than moments worth appreciating. That’s why what researchers call “capitalization,” or how partners respond when the other shares good news, is so important.
Studies show that when people respond with enthusiasm (i.e., asking questions, expressing interest, celebrating wins), couples report higher relationship satisfaction and stronger emotional bonds.
2. Maintaining relationships outside the partnership
Feeling like your partner is “your person” matters a lot, but no one can realistically meet all of another person’s emotional, social and psychological needs.
Happy couples invest in friendships, family relationships and community connections, both together and independently. It prevents the relationship from becoming overburdened by unrealistic expectations.
When partners feel socially supported beyond the relationship, they’re less likely to feel resentful, trapped or emotionally depleted. The relationship becomes a place of choice, not obligation.
3. Creating ‘third spaces’ together
Variety is called the spice of life for a reason. Even strong relationships can begin to feel stale when the novelty disappears. This is especially true for couples who live together and work demanding jobs; the cycle of work, home, sleep and repeat can become monotonous over time.
This is why happy couples actively seek out what researchers call “third spaces,” or environments that exist outside of home (the first place) and work (the second place). It could be a favorite café, a climbing gym, a walking trail, a trivia night, or a class they take together.
The primary purpose of the third space is intentional exploration. When you regularly introduce new third spaces into your routine, you inject a sense of novelty and adventure without needing to travel or make any major life changes.
4. Practicing independence alongside togetherness
Consistency and support are foundational in healthy relationships. But over time, some couples begin to over-rely on one another — for emotional regulation, decision-making or daily logistics. This can slowly lead to codependence.
Happy couples counteract this by practicing independence. They maintain solo hobbies, spend time alone, or handle some responsibilities individually.
This independence is vital for maintaining a sense of self. More importantly, it enables something many couples underestimate the value of: the chance to miss one another.
5. Staying emotionally up to date
Waking up next to the same person every day can create the illusion of deep familiarity. Many couples assume that physical closeness naturally begets emotional closeness, but this is not the case. People grow and change in little ways more often than we realize.
Happy couples always remain curious. They remind themselves that they’re both constantly evolving. By making time to ask questions, they also begin to notice all the new dreams, wants and needs in their partner. This protects them from one of the most common relationship pitfalls: distance despite proximity.
Mark Travers, PhD, is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching. He is also the curator of the popular mental health and wellness website Therapytips.org.
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