In 2023, in an advisory entitled “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation,” former surgeon general Vivek Murthy wrote that “social disconnection was far more common than I had realized.”
And the problem persists. According to 2025 Pew Research Center data, 24% of 18- to 29-year-olds feel lonely or isolated all or most of the time, while 20% of 30- to 49-year-olds report feeling the same.
It turns out that’s even more true for adolescent boys. More than a quarter, 26%, of 11- to 17-year-old boys in the U.S. report feeling lonely, according to a recent report by nonprofit Common Sense Media.
“Kids are increasingly lonely,” says Dr. German Velez, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Columbia University Medical Center. “And that’s something that we’ve known for a while.”
Here’s why, and what parents can do about it.
‘Kids are not going outside as much’
As for what is contributing to the increasing isolation and loneliness among adolescent boys, there’s “a constellation of things,” says Michael Robb, head of research at Common Sense Media.
For one, there has been a “distancing from cultural activities,” says Velez, who’s also the American Psychiatric Association’s council on children, adolescents and families. For example, in 2023, “roughly 1 in 4 Americans reported eating all of their meals alone the previous day,” according to the 2025 World Happiness Report. That’s a 53% increase since 2003.
Sharing meals, he says, is the type of activity that not only allows young people to bond with friends and family, it also creates positive memories.
Group activity, like sports, is one thing boys tend to point to as something that helps to ease their loneliness, Robb adds. But, “kids are not going outside as much as they used to.”
A third of children, 34%, do not play outdoors on school days and 20% don’t play outdoors on weekends, according to a recent study published in the journal “Wellbeing, Space and Society.”
In his 2024 book “The Anxious Generation,” social psychologist Jonathan Haidt explains that with the rise in popularity of terms like “stranger danger,” more access to alarming stories on the news and severed trust in the community at large, parents have become increasingly afraid to let their children play outside independently.
Kids are increasingly lonely.
Dr. German Velez
Child and adolescent psychiatrist
What young people see online likely factors into their loneliness as well.
Between the time spent on social media and the time spent on video games, a majority of adolescent boys, 73% regularly encounter masculinity-related content, according to Common Sense Media. This could include themes of building muscle, making money and fighting.
This content — typically in the form of podcasts, YouTube videos and TikToks — helps to reinforce a “version of masculinity that prides itself on being very strong and stoic,” Robb says. “Not one that shares its emotions or feelings.”
That can convince kids to keep to themselves instead of opening up to others and creating intimate bonds. It can “build up an emotional wall that might make kids feel more isolated over time,” he says.
Here’s how parents can help
To help kids avoid or overcome loneliness, parents can put an emphasis on time together.
“It’s about kids having a better option” than being online, Velez says. That means spending meaningful time with loved ones. And especially protecting the windows in which boys are with family and friends.
When it comes to ensuring kids aren’t consuming online content that is either causing loneliness or at the very least exacerbating it, Robb cites a phrase used by one of his colleagues: “Get curious, not furious.”
Robb suggests starting a conversation with your kids and teens about algorithms and what they’re seeing in their social media feeds — and Velez agrees.
Asking them how they feel when they see masculinity-related content, for example, can help kids and teens start to form their own opinions about why what they’re seeing might be harmful.
Haidt also recommends enforcing strict rules around screen use at home, such as forbidding any type of screen in the bedroom, and giving kids numerous open windows during the week to play independently with their friends.
“Everyone knows that’s when kids get together at the park, they play baseball, football, whatever. Maybe they just stay at the school playground,” he says.
Playing together without the presence of screens is “the most fun kids can have.”
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